Classic Irish Joke

>>>> Paddy had been drinking at his local Dublin pub all day and most of the
>> night celebrating St Patrick's Day. Mick, the bartender says, 'You'll not
>> be drinking anymore tonight, Paddy’. Paddy replies, 'OK Mick, I'll be on
>> my way then’. Paddy spins around on his stool and steps off. He falls flat
>> on his face. 'Shoite' he says and pulls himself up by the stool and dusts
>> himself off. He takes a step towards the door and falls flat on his face,
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>> 'Shoite,
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>> Shoite!'
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>> He looks to the doorway and thinks to himself that if he can just get to
>> the door and some fresh air he'll be fine. He belly crawls to the door and
>> shimmies up to the door frame. He sticks his head outside and takes a deep
>> breath of fresh air, feels much better and takes a step out onto the
>> sidewalk and falls flat on his face.
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>> 'Bi'Jesus.... I'm fockin' focked,' he says.
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>> He can see his house just a few doors down, and crawls to the door, hauls
>> himself up the door frame, opens the door and shimmies inside. He takes a
>> look up the stairs and says 'No fockin' way'. He crawls up the stairs to
>> his bedroom door and says 'I can make it to the bed'. He takes a step into
>> the room and falls flat on his face. He says 'Fock it' and falls into bed.
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>> The next morning, his wife, Jess, comes into the room carrying a cup of
>> coffee and says, 'Get up Paddy. Did you have a bit to drink last night?'
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>> Paddy says, 'I did, Jess. I was fockin' pissed. But how'd you know?'
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>> 'Mick phoned . . . you left your wheelchair at the pub.'
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