Saturday, 19 December 2009
Sharks!
It's amazing what satellites can pick up these days!
An Australian coastal website just posted satellite images of hundreds of sharks cruising around Bondi Beach REALLY CLOSE TO SHORE.
http://www.australiancoastalwatch.com.au/news/bnshark14432tx.article.html
An Australian coastal website just posted satellite images of hundreds of sharks cruising around Bondi Beach REALLY CLOSE TO SHORE.
http://www.australiancoastalwatch.com.au/news/bnshark14432tx.article.html
Jesus Knows You're Here
A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables when a voice in the dark said,
'Jesus knows you're here.'
He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze.
When he heard nothing more , after a bit, he shook his head and continued.
Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard
'Jesus is watching you.'
Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice.
Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot.
'Did you say that?' he hissed at the parrot.
'Yep', the parrot confessed, then squawked, 'I'm just trying to warn you that he is watching you.'
The burglar relaxed. 'Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?'
'Moses,' replied the bird.
'Moses?' the burglar laughed. 'What kind of people would name a bird Moses?'
'The kind of people that would name a Rottweiler Jesus.'
'Yep', the parrot confessed, then squawked, 'I'm just trying to warn you that he is watching you.'
The burglar relaxed. 'Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?'
'Moses,' replied the bird.
'Moses?' the burglar laughed. 'What kind of people would name a bird Moses?'
'The kind of people that would name a Rottweiler Jesus.'
Jesus
Who said...?
It is near the Christmas break of the school year. The students have
> turned in all their work and there is really nothing more to
> do. All the
> children are restless and the teacher decides to have an early
> dismissal.
>
> Teacher: "Whoever answers the questions I ask, first and
> correctly can
> leave early today."
>
> Little Johnny says to himself "Good, I want to get outta here.
> I'm smart
> and will answer the question."
>
> Teacher: "Who said 'Four Score and Seven Years Ago'?"
>
> Before Johnny can open his mouth, Susie says, "Abraham
> Lincoln."
>
> Teacher: "That's right Susie, you can go home."
>
> Johnny is mad that Susie answered the question first.
>
> Teacher: "Who said 'I Have a Dream'?"
>
> Before Johnny can open his mouth, Mary says, "Martin Luther
> King."
>
> Teacher: "That's right Mary, you can go."
>
> Johnny is even madder than before.
>
> Teacher: "Who said 'Ask not, what your country can do for
> you'?"
>
> Before Johnny can open his mouth, Nancy says, "John F.
> Kennedy."
>
> Teacher: "That's right Nancy, you may also leave."
>
> Johnny is boiling mad that he has not been able to answer to
> any of the
> questions.
>
> When the teacher turns her back Johnny says, "I wish these
> bitches would
> keep their mouths shut!"
>
> The teacher turns around: "NOW WHO SAID THAT?"
>
> Johnny: "TIGER WOODS. CAN I GO NOW?
> turned in all their work and there is really nothing more to
> do. All the
> children are restless and the teacher decides to have an early
> dismissal.
>
> Teacher: "Whoever answers the questions I ask, first and
> correctly can
> leave early today."
>
> Little Johnny says to himself "Good, I want to get outta here.
> I'm smart
> and will answer the question."
>
> Teacher: "Who said 'Four Score and Seven Years Ago'?"
>
> Before Johnny can open his mouth, Susie says, "Abraham
> Lincoln."
>
> Teacher: "That's right Susie, you can go home."
>
> Johnny is mad that Susie answered the question first.
>
> Teacher: "Who said 'I Have a Dream'?"
>
> Before Johnny can open his mouth, Mary says, "Martin Luther
> King."
>
> Teacher: "That's right Mary, you can go."
>
> Johnny is even madder than before.
>
> Teacher: "Who said 'Ask not, what your country can do for
> you'?"
>
> Before Johnny can open his mouth, Nancy says, "John F.
> Kennedy."
>
> Teacher: "That's right Nancy, you may also leave."
>
> Johnny is boiling mad that he has not been able to answer to
> any of the
> questions.
>
> When the teacher turns her back Johnny says, "I wish these
> bitches would
> keep their mouths shut!"
>
> The teacher turns around: "NOW WHO SAID THAT?"
>
> Johnny: "TIGER WOODS. CAN I GO NOW?
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